So, I've noticed a trend as I read through my recent blog posts... and that trend, is a steep, negative slope downwards. I swear I'm not a total hag ALL of the time and I do sometimes remember how to crack a smile.... heck, I even laughed once... last month. So, in an attempt to show a more positive side to both myself and pregnancy, I'm going to write about my most recent exciting event: my 3D/4D ultrasound!

True to form, I got the idea in my head that I wanted to have a 3D/4D ultrasound done about...hm... 6 months ago. I finally made it to the "google" search part of the process about 2 months ago, found a place worthy of viewing my baby, and by the time I actually remembered to call, it was always after they were closed, so by the 5th night of this happening (over a 2 week period), I decided to leave a message with my name and number so that they would call ME. Ugh.... what a process! Well, the next morning, the lady called me (by this point I had totally forgotten about it) and said that they had a cancellation for that day at 4:30! I immediately took the appointment, then ran down to tell Den (conveniently, it happened to be his day off) who was oh so excited to spend half his day driving an hour each way to get yet another ultrasound. He made that enthusiasm abundantly clear through his facial lack of expression and his frequent deep sighs..... what is he, a woman? I ignored it, b/c c'mon,... it's not like I'm telepathic. Anyway, the lady took down my information, asked me a bunch of questions, one being, "do you drink a lot of water everyday?" My gut told me she wanted to hear the answer, "yes" so that's what I told her (um... no, would be the truth). In fact, I have to admit, I'm HORRIBLE at the water intake part of this thing. I drive around in a car all day... and last I checked, they don't make porta-potties for the back seat so that leaves me with McDonald's and Dunkin Donuts as the premium option for bathroom stops... or in more dire straits, package store out houses (most are not worthy of the term "bathroom"). Uh.... have you ever seen a package store bathroom?? There's a reason they aren't "public" bathrooms... in fact, about 90% of them would probably be condemned if spotted by the health inspector.... I mean, if there were ever a case for catching herpes off a toilet seat, I know a couple places where I wouldn't be surprised to hear it. Most of these toilets haven't been cleaned since the 70's and there's almost never a sink AND soap.... one or the other, but not both. There's dust on the top of the bowl so thick that the words, "wash me" are more of a permanent marking.... I'm afraid to investigate any further than that. Which brings me to the point I've been trying to make.... would YOU want to sit on one of these herpie infested scum buckets every half hour to let your walnut-sized bladder empty?? My guess is, no. Well, at least that's MY answer and I do drink water, I mean... c'mon, I'm not a completely selfish.... I know the little guy needs a drink once a week or so, but do I consider myself a "good water drinker"?? Heck no. Anyway, I wasn't going to let a little lack of water come between me and my precious 3D/4D ultrasound, not to mention my need for instant gratification, so I chugged water all day long (probably have herpes now from all those darn package store bathrooms) and off we went, driving an hour north to get a premature glimpse at our little bundle of joy.

Once we arrived, we had some paper work to fill out, some proof to show we weren't using this ultrasound in place of pre-natal care, and then a choice of which package we wanted to get. Now... after all the effort it took to get there, the potential herpes exposure, and the months of waiting there was no way I was going to skimp out and choose the least expensive package just b/c it was cheap! What's a little money when it comes to your unborn child?? I mean, who could wait 6 weeks to see their future baby?? Not me! Not me! So, out popped the credit card and $200 later we were in for a 45 minute session of intrauterine bliss. We were then lead into a small, very neatly decorated, plush room full of pillows that was about 95 degrees. I laid down on the couch-like examination table that was more like something out of a pottery barn catalog than a doctors office. It was nice to have pillows and fabric to lay on instead of tissue paper and stirrups. Suddenly, I felt a little shy when it came time to lift up my shirt an expose my protruding belly... it felt like I was just laying on someones couch, but of course.... I didn't come all that way to be shy, so up it went. The lady had a soothing voice and turned the lights down really low as she grabbed the blue-goo jelly that the doctors use, except this blue-goo was WARM... reeeeeally warm, in fact, borderline HOT. She then turned on the projector to allow us to see a super sized version of the screen on the wall in front of us. Soon, Den's lack of expression turned into a face full of anticipation while even Ali found pleasure in pushing all the button's marked "don't touch" in the room. Soon, the lady pulled up the image of our little guy in 2D (like in the doctor's office). She located the major parts to determine his position then went straight for the goods. "Do you know what you're having?" she asked politely before zooming in on a 3D/4D version of our little one's man hood. "Well, we think we do, and we're kind of hoping to confirm it's a boy," we responded. "Well, someones being shy," she remarked as she moved the probe along my belly, trying to get a clearer view, but this guy was like something out of cirque de sole. He had one leg straight out (with a mammoth-sized foot wedged under my upper right rib cage) while the other leg's knee bent and crossed the lower part right across his goodies (with the other mammoth-sized foot using my stomach as a soccer ball). She pushed on my belly a bit, had me eat a mini snickers, then poof! There it was..... in all of it's acorn-sized glory. "awww... how cute," she responded... although all I could think was, "well that's not the response he'll be looking for later in life... I hope it grows!" No wonder he was hiding it! "Hey ma! Couldn't ya wait 'til it's done cooking before ya show all the world my twig and berries??" Oh... he has no clue... b/c not only did he give us a clear shot, but it's in 3D, both black & white AND color photos, and in 4D on video. I'm warning ya kid... bring home a girl Mommy doesn't like, and out comes the footage! Oh... how fun it was to show all the women in the family.... OMG it's so little!! tee hee hee," or "Uh oh, Den.... hope he doesn't take after you!! Tee he he," or "awww it looks JUST like a little acorn!! Tee he he." Den.... on the other hand, wasn't so quick to show anyone those photos. Although, I must defend.... if he takes after his father, then fear not.... fear not at all..... reeeeeally not at all.... (okay, did I do it justice yet?). But honestly.... is it always that tiny?? I mean, I know he's like a total of 5 lbs, but his darn feet were like.... 10 times the size of it. And call me stupid, but I half expected it to be circumcised already. It actually stunned me for a minute to see that it wasn't.... then the fog lifted (from my brain). "Oh yeahhhhh...." (insert light bulb).

So, the 45 minute session was not just comprised of various angles of the acorn. We did get to see some pretty cute footage of his face, although he had the umbilical cord right in front of his nose the whole time, no matter how much I jumped up and down. In the few clear images we got, we did get to see that he has the cutest little button nose, and chubby cheeks just like his big sis, Ali, and he even smiled (or so I'm calling it that) and seems to have DIMPLES!! I know, I know.... probably not true, but it's fun to pretend. And of course, the baby that never sleeps (ever) decided to make that 45 minute session, his nap time. It would be that way, wouldn't it. Sooo... despite being 95 degrees, it was an awesome experience and totally worth the 200 bucks! The only thing that pissed me off (b/c I have to throw in some negative with all this positive crap) was that they didn't take any measurements or do any sort of medical ANYTHING because "they're not a medical facility." Hey, couldn't ya just say.... "looks like he's about 5lbs" or "all his measurements look pretty on target," Just give me SOMETHING to take home... ANYTHING. But I guess we can thank the sue-happy American culture that has become so paranoid that things like "birth control does not prevent or treat STD's" had to be said or someone would be stupid enough to sue b/c it doesn't. All in all... it was awesome (yeah, I know... I said that already).

Next up to do before this pregnancy is over: Get professional belly pics taken. Real photo-shoot, here I come!